Awareness Coaching LLC - Providing Transformation and Success Coaching in Doylestown, PA and Online

During the stressful times, we especially need more self-care. The supports we rely on to get our much needed self-care are now different. I miss the many supports I had in place to help us manage a smoother existence. It’s made me become even more creative to get self-care into my day.

When people think of self-care they often think it needs to be hours on end. Yes, that would be nice, and the research shows through psychologist, Julie Bjelland, on average Highly Sensitive People need self care time for two hours a day to get your nervous system to calm down and rebalance from the overstimulation of being out in the world. But parents usually don’t have two hours a day for self-care, and now during the pandemic, it seems impossible for some people to get in two hours a day! So, now we have to get it when we can. Something is better than nothing.

Daily schedules that allow you a break throughout the day are imperative. For example, in my schedule for the day at home, I schedule in ipad time and t.v. time (pre-pandemic, the kids were never on the ipad, and the t.v. was limited to one hour). In the past, I would have recommended one hour a day to clients. Now, yes we want to stay close to one hour a day but when the children are home from school all day and there is very little to do, more time is being spent on the t.v. or electronics. So, two hours a day is probably where we are standing right now. We have to do what we have to do to survive this trying time. Notice what happens to your child when they are on the electronics for an extended period of time. If they are more moody then reduce electronic time and come up with another strategy.

Another self-care tool is Electromagnetic Field blockers, check it out at safeconnectplus.com. On their website Dr. Ann Louise Gittleman states, “dozens of studies, including the one in Occupational and Environmental Medicine, suggest that low levels of EMFs depress the body’s production of melatonin, the hormone that controls the sleep-wake cycle. German research finds that people with low melatonin levels report depression, brain fog, exhaustion and agitation- symptoms of electro sensitivity.” There are other statements referring to the slowing down of our brain waves, mental clarity, and making us sick. I have an EMF shield on all of our cellphones, and we keep a cell phone near the computers when we work on the computer. This is so we are protected from the computer EMFs. We also put one on the ipad. Since we are all sitting in front of computers and electronics more for work and entertainment, we need to protect our energy from the effects of EMFs. They can be used for the whole house, microwaves, etc. You decide what your family needs to stay safe when connected to electronics. I definitely feel a difference between prior and after using one. I learned about these at an Energy Psychology conference. I notice a difference between having them on the cell phone. Try one out to see if it will benefit you.

The other self-care change is our mindset. We need to give ourselves space at night for our own individual self care time by prioritizing our selves. It is so necessary to bring our energy back into balance. Healthy self-soothing strategies are helpful to implement daily. Whether it is using your essential oils, putting on your favorite sweats, or doing a 5 minute meditation, your body will thank you. You will also be more available for your children if you do your self-care. Self-care allows us to be less prone to becoming enraged or irritable when our children do something they shouldn’t. Remember their job is to test us. We also need to ask for help more than other parents. I know your perfectionistic side wants you to push, and it considers it weak to ask for support, but if you don’t, your system most likely will break down in some way either physically or mentally. So, save yourself the trouble and create a support system that works for you. Click here for the FREE, e-workbook “self-care survival guide: How to Cope with Life as a HSP or Empath for Parents and Children.” Click here for the FREE private Facebook Group, Conscious Parenting for Highly Sensitive and Empath Parents. The group of parents in there are super supportive, and we would love to have you join.

Sensitive parents have an amazing ability to tune into their children and know exactly what they need through mirror neurons*. We have more mirror neurons than the average person according to Elaine Aron, researcher and psychologist of HSPs. So, we can empathize with our children’s needs more quickly. But this also makes it hard when our children are having a temper tantrum because we feel bad for them. Building up your shielding and grounding techniques is very helpful to managing this. See the self-care workbook mentioned above for more information on this. Teaching your children about these skills is a very good lesson, so they are not overwhelmed by other people’s feelings. I started teaching this to my children at age 3 because that is when the psychological brain is starting to develop.

We are also incredibly creative, so I have no doubt you’ve got this part of filling your child’s time down pat. Keep up with your creative self during self-care times, this is what helps us feel alive. The more you do for yourself, the better you are going to feel. Because children pick up on our energy, they will feel and act more peacefully also. Hope to see you in the private facebook group, or drop me a line and let me know if this was helpful.

*According to Elaine Aaron, “The brain’s mirror neurons were only discovered in the last twenty years or so. When we are watching someone else do something or feel something, this clump of neurons fires in the same way as some of the neurons in the person we are observing. As an example, the same neurons fire, to varying degrees, whether we are kicking a soccer ball, see someone else kicking a soccer ball, hear the sound of someone kicking a soccer ball, or hear or say the word “kick.” Not only do these amazing neurons help us learn through imitation, but in conjunction with the other areas of the brain that were especially active for HSPs, they help us know others’ intentions and how they feel. Hence they are largely responsible for the universal human capacity for empathy. We do not just know how someone else feels, but actually feel that way ourselves to some extent. This is very familiar to sensitive people. Anyone’s sad faces tended to generate more activity in these mirror neurons in HSPs than others.”